Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.
A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.
A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.
Proverbs 21:19 and 27:15-16
“Ouch! I wonder if Solomon had experience with a “quarrelsome wife”? Have you ever been one? Are you prone to nagging and criticism? How have you seen this kind of behavior affect your husband, or others’ husbands if you are not a nagger?”
These are the questions posed for today’s Marriage Monday over at Christine’s blog Fruit in Season.
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In my younger days, I was in many ways a quarrelsome wife as I did not yet understand how to express my opinion without being a pain. Thankfully, my husband was patient as I learned how to express my viewpoints and defer to his judgement. Had I not changed, I am sure that my husband would not be the man that he is today.
There are times that I find myself wanting to start to criticize my husband for his actions or lack thereof, but I know now that it will only have the reverse effect that I want on him. Instead, I will take on tasks to help him with whatever needs to be done. It is better to ask once (and remind in a kind-hearted way) and let it go, than to constantly nag.
If you have ever seen a relationship where a lot of nagging is going on, you will see a husband that dreads going home to his wife and family. You will see a husband who resents his wife. It’s hard to love someone fully when all they do is nag at you or criticize you. It slowly tears down even the greatest, most Godly man. A man who’s pride and manhood has been torn down is a very sad sight.
On the other hand, if you have ever seen a man who’s wife strives to lift him up and encourage him, you will see a man who wants to spend time with his wife and family. You will see a man who adores his wife and wants to please her. It builds up even the most lowly man. A man who has a wonderful, Godly woman behind him is a beautiful sight.
I strive to be the woman who is held up by her husband. I want my husband to speak of me with pride not scorn. I want him to love to spend time with me and not dislike being around me.
I know that the next few weeks with be very stressful due to the move, and I will be prone to speak poorly to my husband. I have already asked him to help me through this time. He knows that a lot will fall on my shoulders, and he has agreed to help me in whatever way he can. Yet, I know I will be drawn towards criticism as I’m thinking about how much I’m doing by myself. I know that I will need to cry out to the Lord to help me be the person that He wants me to be.
I enjoyed visiting your blog today and wanted to thank you for this post. What a good reminder to watch how we speak to others!! I hope you and yours are having a wonderful Easter Celebration! Diane
Such a good post. For me, reading The Power of a Praying Wife is what opened my eyes to my nagging and has helped me to stop.
“Had I not changed, I am sure that my husband would not be the man that he is today.” This is so true. I know that in our earlier and mid years of marriage, I tore my husband down. I destroyed his confidence and that changed who he is. It is something that I have had to confess to the Lord.
Kept saying yes, yes as I was reading your post. I want to be a woman who is help up by her husband and have him speak about me with pride and not scorn and I want to be a wife who strives to lift up and encourage my husband. Thank you for sharing. Praying that God will smooth your moving process and that those times of being drawn toward critisim will be few.
WOW…what a great post. I just love reading your blog.
You’re so astute to know ahead of time when you might be prone to complaining. Once I learned that, with Jason’s help, I was so much closer to being an encouragement all of the time, and not just when I was in a good mood. Thanks for posting this honest and positive post!
Hang tough during the move. Having moved many times during my life( a few times by myself, EEK!), I know how tiring it can get.
You know where to lean…He will get you through. 🙂 Take mini-naps/rests when you can…stress = exhaustion. I always have to pace myself or I lose it.