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I had always been brought up with the idea that you wanted to marry someone who shared your same core beliefs. Thankfully, D and I had the same foundation even though we didn’t see eye to eye on everything. We both grew up in the same denomination even though our experiences were extremely different.
My elementary years into my early teens were great years at the church. I had some good mentors and friends. Church was a positive experience for me. There was a time when my view changed a bit due to things taking place within our church. We even went through a church split which left a bad taste in my mouth, but there was still a solid core of believers that I could look up to and valued their opinions. D, on the other hand, grew up in a legalistic church environment that he didn’t enjoy – at all. For many years, he was the only student in his Sunday school class. He grew up hearing the same basic sermon being preached Sunday after Sunday. In his teen years, when he was able, he joined me at my church.
All that to say, that even though we had two completely different experiences in church, we both felt that our faith was an important part of our marriage equation. We knew that the Lord needed to be first for us to succeed. It took time to understand what that looked like in practice, and honestly, it wasn’t until a few years into our marriage that we were able to truly see the Lord take His rightful place in our lives. (He was always part of our relationship, but we didn’t incorporate Him into everything we did like we should have which lead to some mistakes on our part.)
Note from D: The important thing to note about faith is that you don’t try to change a person to what you want; you try to help them become what God wants. This is true in pretty much all aspects of the relationship.
Throughout our marriage, we’ve been in and out of churches. We’ve had some great church experiences as some duty stations while other locations were not all that great. In fact, there was a period where we didn’t attend church. Instead, we did church at home. It was during this season in our lives that we really grew in our faith and understanding as we did some pretty detailed studies as a family. It also left us wanting more out of a church experience. We had higher expectations of church leadership and of what was being taught. Munchkin desired more meat rather than being spoon fed the normal children’s ministry teachings.
We took that time to not only grow spiritually as individuals, but also to grow spiritually as a family and as a couple. We have seen marriages struggle and even fail because they didn’t share core beliefs or because one spouse grew in their faith while the other spouse grew stagnant or even walked away from their faith. Our faith is what allowed us to make it through D’s deployments and our other times apart. Our faith kept us grounded and encouraged. It kept us going even during difficult times. I honestly don’t know how people go through life without faith in God as it’s such a huge part of us.
Follow Fawn Weaver, the founder of the Happy Wives Club, on her journey to find the secrets to a happy, healthy marriage that lasts a lifetime. You can grab a copy here.
Happy Wives Club Our Marriage Series:
- Part 1: The Adventure of a Lifetime 1/1/14
- Part 2: The Value of Commitment and Communication 1/2/14
- Part 3: Priorities 1/3/14
- Part 4: Trust and Encouragement 1/4/14
- Part 5: Faith 1/5/14
- Part 6: It’s the Little Things That Matter 1/6/14
- Part 7: Happy Wives Club Book Review 1/7/14
