Christine has asked us to discuss how children have affected our marriage.
Having a child greatly affected our marriage in that adding a little one to your life means less “me” time and less “couple” time. It means that someone else comes first. You start thinking about how your actions with affect your child’s life. You view the world through the eyes of a parent.
We talked about having kids long before we ever got married. We always thought that we’d have at least 2 kids. D came from a large family and I had only 1 sibling. We both loved the way that we grew up. We never thought we’d have any only child. The Lord had other plans for our lives.
Munchkin was a true blessing. She was not an easy child as she slept very little, and I required lots of sleep. This definitely changed things in our relationship. Our life began to revolve around sleep (or lack thereof). This was not an easy time for us, but it did bring us closer as we learned to overcome obstacles thrown our way.
One of the biggest obstacles that we’ve had to overcome though would be multiple miscarriages at various stages in the pregnancies. We learned to really rely on each other for the strength that we needed to get through these times. It took understanding on both of our parts as we grieved differently.
Now, we have accepted that we’ll have an only child. There are times that she wants a brother or sister, but she understands that God wants her to be our precious “little” girl.
Having a child has made us re-evaluate what we do in our lives and think about the example that we are setting for her. Not only do we want to set a good individual example for her, but also an example of a healthy, Christian marriage.
A healthy, Christian marriage means that we have to put our priorities in order:
1) God
2) Spouse
3) Child
4) Others (then prioritize here as well)
Thanks for sharing this week. My oldest never took a nap and boy did I need one! LOL. But she was a great sleeper from a young age, I finally learned to go to bed earlier cause I was not going to get a nap!
Sorry to hear of you miscarriages. Good post summery–That is the main change for every marriage when children come–prioities.
Robin
http://207.126.54.137/blog/
Trials will eventually bring us closer if we let them. To many people give up in the midst of them and don’t experience the joy at the other end. It’s wonderful to read of your journey, heartbreak to contentment. Thanks for posting this!
Good to hear from you again. Your post is precious and I too am thankful for your sweet munchkin. She truly is a blessing. I appreciate your openness as well and seeking God in the midst of joy and through such difficult times. I know these years have only brought you and D closer. I praise God for you three.