“… let’s introduce each other to the women we were when we met and married our husbands…. Once you have painted a picture of yourself then, show us who you are now…. “
I was a young bride, but not a naïve bride. We had gone through a bit that had caused us to mature faster than many people our age. I definitely wanted to be the perfect wife for him, but I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to do that do to some difficulties that we faced. I had a lot to learn about being a wife. With divorce in my family, all I knew for sure was that divorce was not an option for us. We both went into the marriage with this expectation of each other.
I would have to say that I entered into this marriage with stars in my eyes, but I was also a bit hesitant due to some things that were taking place behind the scenes. My husband and I had dated through jr high and high school, so we knew each other well. We basically grew up together. I knew what I was getting into (as did he), so there weren’t a lot of surprises when it came to personalities or expectations. We had experienced the good, bad, and the ugly so to speak when it came to each other.
I think we all have good and bad role models that shape our opinions about what marriage should and shouldn’t be. The good thing for us was that we had talked about our roles within the marriage before we got married. We talked about a lot of things before getting married.
I expected to be put first in his life after God. I expected him to provide for me. I expected that I would be the homemaker (though I didn’t really know what that was at the time and I’m still truly learning).
I was definitely a different person back then. I was extremely hard-headed, stubborn, and had a hot temper. But, my husband is a sweetheart and quite mellow (though stubborn and hard-headed) and has taught me how to relax and let things go. At our wedding, my sister about died of laughter when I had to say that I would submit in our vows. (As a matter of fact, she did laugh at the rehearsal.)
Back then, it was more difficult to submit, but each year it gets easier. He respects and loves me, and I submit to his final authority. It’s a wonderful thing. It’s amazing how much better things can be when you follow God’s commands for role in marriage.
Marriage has been much more wonderful than I could have ever imagined. Yes, there have been ups and downs, but as our 10 year anniversary approaches, I can honestly say that I would take every minute of it (good and bad). The bad makes the good so much sweeter.
My expectations have adjusted in that I expect more of myself. I find myself wanting to do more for him. I’m always looking for new ways to lift him up and make him happy. I want to make his life easier. I am still learning how to be a better wife to him, and honestly, I don’t think that I’ll ever stop learning.
“Who can find a virtuous wife? for her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life…. Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her:” Proverbs 31: 10-12, 28
That is my goal in our marriage.
Head over to Fruit in Season to meet the other Marriage Monday participants.
I am the hot-tempered one in our relationship and he is pretty laid back. Jason’s fuse is short on a couple of topics, though! 🙂
I think the area of submission is tough for many new brides because we all grew up in this feministic society that tells us at every turn “we’re worth it”.
Thanks for sharing your story!
Looking to ourselves to change rather than the other person is great! If only we could all always do that. 🙂
This was really a beautiful post. And being hard-headed myself, I can relate to most of it! 🙂
“It’s amazing how much better things can be when you follow God’s commands for role in marriage.”
AMEN! What a wonderful post!
Thank you so much for sharing your ‘before’ and now, Heather. I know that I am still learning too, even after 24 years of marriage 🙂
Blessings on your day and always.
Submission was a little bit hard for me to learn too. Although I found that the more I practiced it, the easier it became because of how easy my husband made it.
Thanks for sharing! 🙂
I love that you chose a Bible verse as a goal for yourself as a wife. I am still working on the submission thing but I thing having a goal and realizing that submission is one of the tools to use to obtain that goal might really benefit me.
Thanks!
Thanks for visiting. I am a bit new at this blogging thing. Now that I have a better idea of what this Marriage Monday is all about I’ll make sure my post is a little more in line with the theme.
Enjoyed your post. Isn’t it great that He is not finished with us yet?
I still feel that stubborn child standing up every once in a while when she needs to sit down. Thank heavens God gave me a patient husband who was willing to stick it out through my growing years.
I love it that you said even tho you had stars in your eyes going into the marriage you both talked about divorce not being an option for you both. I wish more young people would have that attitude instead of.. if it doesn’t work out I’ll get out. Thanks for sharing. I talk to my kids about what they want and don’t want in a marriage and to know it before that fog of love covers it all up with those stars!