Every person is different when it comes to deployments, but there is always some common ground that most people go through while dealing with deployments.
Obviously, I approach this from the viewpoint of a spouse, but anyone can use at least some of these tips. Deployments are never easy, but you can do it with God’s help. The Lord will ultimately give you the strength and comfort that you need to get through this deployment.
Pre-deployment:
Paperwork – now is the time to make sure you have all of the documentation that you will need during the deployment. Have a will in place for all adult members of the family. Make sure you have a power of attorney to deal with whatever needs to be done while he’s away. Check your military id to make sure it’s up to date. Contact all companies that you deal with on a regular basis (bills, bank, mortgage company…) to see what they need in order for you to handle the accounts.
Support System – you need a support system of some sort. Now is the time to reach out to your church, neighbors, friends, and family. If you don’t have a local support group, you can always find a group online to connect with. Please, make sure that your support system actually is there to lift you up and not drag you done. You don’t want to be surrounded by people who will make you feel bitter about the circumstances in your life.
Ask for Help – it’s often not easy to ask for help, but people will not know you need help if you don’t ask them. If housekeeping and yardwork are going to be way too much for you while your spouse is deployed, see if you can hire someone to help you out.
During Deployment:
Pray – protect your Marine with a bubble of prayer. He will feel the prayers.
Keep living – do not do daily countdowns at this point in time as it is usually counter productive, and this far out, the days aren’t exact. Instead, count down month to month until you get closer to the end date. Make sure you have activities to look forward to at least once per month. Do not sit around the computer waiting for contact with him (unless you have a set time when you know he will be on the computer). Keep your cell phone on you, but do not turn down activities just because he “might” call.
Schedule Time – give yourself XX minutes to cry each day (if needed). Once you are done with that time period, you need to stop and think positively. If you start to feel down, do something that lifts you up (and pray). Have some projects that will make you focus on others and not yourself.
Mail – keep those packages & mail going to them. Mail is a huge moral booster. Try to keep mail upbeat whenever possible. Do not expect to receive mail back from him. He needs to focus on his job there. He’ll do his best to stay in contact, but it’s not always easy.
Encouragement – be a source of encouragement for him. First deployments are hard. He will probably get down at some point. He will get homesick, and he will get discouraged. The best thing you can do is stay upbeat and give him the encouragement that he needs. Let him know that you love him, you are proud of him, and you’re praying for him.
Post Deployment:
Time – it’s going to take time to get reunited with your loved one. You have both changed and grown. No matter how connected you are during the deployment, there will be an adjustment period. Allow yourself time to come together again.
Patience – be patient with each other. As you get to know each other again, you’re going to have to exercise patience. As you re-establish household patterns, you will need to have patience. As your military member gets use to being back at home, you will need patience.
Military life is not easy for anyone involved, but with love, patience, understanding, it can be a very rewarding experience. I have always said that I do not know how people can deal with the stress of deployments without faith in God. It is in Him that I trusted to give me the strength and comfort that I needed to make it through even the most difficult of days.
“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’” ~2 Corinthians 12:9
good post 🙂
helpful to young military brides 🙂
Thank you, while our son is not deployed but still very far away I did do a lot of these things even before he left for Parris Island. My friend had a son in the Army, he's on his 5th deployment so she was very helpful, but I copied down your lits and will tuck it away. Thank you so much! Have a wonderful day & God Bless!
I love all those tips…I have been using the Deployment ones and will be using the post-deployment ones when he returns! Thank you so much for sharing! And if no-one else uses these tips…I DO…they are wonderful!!!!! Blessings from Georgia!!
I agree I think both spouses need to have faith in God to get through deployments.
What a great list. I really like what you said "…I do not know how people can deal with the stress of deployments without faith in God."
Although my beloved is no longer in the military – separation from your spouse is not easy…
I am trying to find out what a normal deployment term is.
Any information would be greatly appreciated.
Kindest regards,
Joan