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We were just teenagers when we met. Young. Impressionable. Very little real life experience under our belts with so much to learn and a lifetime to learn it. It didn’t take us long to become friends, and our relationship developed from that solid friendship. Even back then, we talked to each other about everything and used each other as sounding boards.
I probably knew before he did that we’d get married one day, but we both knew by the time that we graduated from high school that we planned on getting married. It wasn’t a matter of if, but rather when. By the time that we did get married, we had already gone through some difficult times including my illness and the loss of my mom to cancer shortly before we said “I do”.
We heard more than once that our relationship wouldn’t last once he went away to college for a year and then on to boot camp, but we knew otherwise. We were told that we needed to date more people because we couldn’t possibly know at such a young age that we were right for each other, but we disagreed. We kept growing up together and being there for each other. Our friendship grew as our relationship grew. We were good for each other, and we shared similar core values and beliefs.
When we got married after he finished up his military training, our adjustment period wasn’t as difficult as everyone told us it was going to be. I think having a solid friendship and growing up together had allowed us to know each other pretty well before we ever entered into our marriage. Now don’t get me wrong, we still had some ups and downs as we figured out how to become our own family and establish our own traditions, not to mention that we both had to mature some in the way we handled our frustrations. Thankfully, we already knew how to talk things out as we had a bit of practice previously.
Going into our marriage, we both agreed that this was a lifetime commitment and divorce was not an option for us. We decided that we would love each other forever which meant maintaining a friendship and connection with each other. We were determined to grow old together and enjoy the journey together. Of course, back then, we didn’t truly realize what all that entailed, but we did our best to value each other’s opinions, to honestly listen to what was being said, and to make decisions together. We had just begun the adventure of a lifetime….
Fawn Weaver, the founder of the Happy Wives Club, wrote a book about the best marriage secrets the world has to offer. They say the book is like “Eat, Pray, Love meets The 5 Love Languages.” I say the book is inspiring. You can grab a copy here.
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